This letter of forgiveness is also useful for those who have any relationship problems with other people: parents, relatives, colleagues, friends, children or even people who are not alive.
We are preparing for the letter of forgiveness.
1. Choose a specific person with whom you do not have a healthy relationship and who hurts you a lot. 2. Allocate at least one hour of silence to work. It is advisable to light a candle and turn on soft music to create a particular atmosphere. 3. It is better to write by hand and not on a computer.
The Next Step.
Write everything you have long wanted to express to this person on paper. Write without stopping in the stream of thoughts and feelings as it goes, and exactly in the words that you want to express it. Write about their shortcomings, their bad deeds, their behavior, and their attitude toward you. Write, write, write. Then sit a bit in silence and stillness. Feel your body. Pay attention to your feelings. Feel the pulse of the heart and cry if you want.
Watch yourself. What other thoughts are in your head and heart?
Don’t repress these thoughts and feelings. You need to feel and realize what you are feeling and pay attention to the processes taking place in you.
If you don’t have enough words to express yourself, you can draw on a sheet of paper what you feel, draw images or just shapes, or do whatever you like to free up space in your soul for the new!
Trust yourself in this process. In order to forgive a person, you must allow yourself to live through all the emerging emotions.
Here is a sample list of emotions that you can have: Alienation, Defeat, Shake, Emotion Hate, Aggression, Anger, Resentment, Hatred, Annoyance, Irritation, Vengeance, Insult, Resistance, Envy, Arrogance, Contempt, Disgust, Anxiety, Stress, Shock, Fear, Despondency, Feeling of a blind alley, Confusion, Lostness, Disorientation, Depression, Suspicion, Cynicism, Sorrow, Alertness, Concern, Anxiety, Fear, Nervousness, Loneliness, Sadness, Grief, Disappointment, Pain, Abandonment, Soreness, Fatigue, Apathy, Depletion, Upset, Impatience, Devastation, Helplessness, Weakness, Vulnerability, Short temper, Longing, Guilt, Humiliation, Regret, Blame or Suffering.
Structure of a letter of forgiveness
1. I am disappointed in you for what you … How could you do …?
2. I was very offended when you …
3. I was hurt, scared that …
4. I hate you …
5. I feel betrayed by you for what you …
6. I cannot forgive you for …
7. I was in great pain because of you …
8. I suffer from the fact that …
9. It was important for me that you … I wish we …
10. I feel insulted that …
11. I wish I could...
12. Forgive me that I …
13. I thank you for …
14. Thank you for being …
15. I forgive you for …
16. I apologize to you for …
17. I respect you for the fact that you …
18. I loved you for …
19. I let you go in peace and love.
Final Stage
1. After writing the letter of forgiveness, you should burn the letter or tear it into small pieces and throw it away.
2. If you complete your letter, but you don’t have a feeling of forgiveness, and you still have the same level of suffering, it means that expressing all your feelings at this stage is too difficult for you.
Then it is recommended to write a letter of forgiveness to the same person again in some period till you have relief.
If you can’t describe all the feelings, and you are still suffering from anxiety and depression, then you are blocking the feelings and do not allow yourself to release all the emotions that have accumulated in you.
In this case, I recommend you to turn to a professional psychologist, or a counselor therapist who will help you determine how to work environmentally with your feelings!